Introduction
From Happy-Go-Lucky to Reserved: My Journey of Change.
I was a happy-go-lucky person, always up for a good time. But as I got older, life threw unexpected challenges my way. These challenges slowly drained my energy and enthusiasm. I lost my mojo. I found myself becoming more introverted, retreating from social interactions. My observations and experiences with others undergoing similar transformations made me realise these changes weren't unique. I witnessed individuals with cheerful and outgoing personalities undergo dramatic changes for various reasons.
Life is a constant journey of change, shaping our personalities and influencing our emotions. We may start out happy and outgoing, but life's experiences can lead us down different paths, sometimes steering us away from our initial carefree nature. This transition can be gradual or sudden, driven by various factors, including external events, illness, societal pressures, the experiences we have in life, and the natural way our personalities develop.
In my case, there were also many other factors that played a role in my transformation. This article will explore the many reasons people change, from health problems, personal crises and everything in between.
What Causes People to Change so Dramatically?
Ageing changes how we look and feel, affecting our behaviour like losing hair, getting wrinkles, and losing muscle can make us feel a bit self-conscious. As we age, we face new health challenges. Also, our interests and what excites us may naturally change as we grow up, leading to different likes compared to when we were younger.
Activism can change how we act, making us less carefree. Activists see first-hand the suffering caused by injustice, which can bring strong feelings like sadness and anger. For example, people who learn about the cruelty of animals in the food industry might become vegans, changing their personality as they become more aware and committed to social justice. Activists working against racism, sexism, and other discrimination may also see a change in personality as they become more exposed to the pain and suffering caused by these systems.
Bad luck can wear down our ability to stay positive, leading to a downward spiral of negative feelings. Dealing with one problem after another can make even the happiest, most resilient people feel helpless, disheartened, and prone to anger or sadness.
Boredom with life is an ongoing sense of not being content and not caring much about daily activities, relationships, and surroundings. It's like feeling empty and not interested, which can lead to feeling stuck and really sad. Although sometimes being bored is a normal part of being human, feeling bored all the time can really affect how we feel inside. A study published in the 'Journal Social Psychological and Personality Science' found that people who were more prone to boredom were also more likely to experience symptoms of depression, according to a study conducted during the pandemic. (Note: Boredom with life does not necessarily mean that someone is suicidal or wants to die.)
Changing social circles through different stages of life can lead to changes in personality as they adapt to new groups of friends or colleagues. People who are outgoing and social may find it more challenging to be themselves if surrounded by others who are introverted and reserved, or with different interests or values.
Chronic stress can change how we feel and act. We might become easily annoyed, anxious, and withdrawn from others. We might also have trouble sleeping or focusing. In some cases, constant stress can lead to more problems, like depression or other mental health conditions.
Cultural norms and expectations can also play a role in shaping personality. For instance, in some cultures, it is considered more polite to be reserved and introverted, while in others, it is more common to be outgoing and expressive. As people travel or move to new places, they may adopt some of the cultural norms of their new environment, which can affect their personality.
Divorce is a significant life change that can impact a person's personality. Breaking up after a long-term relationship can bring sad, angry, and confusing feelings, and can change how a person acts. They may become more sensitive emotionally, withdrawing from social activities and changing social circles.
Emotional distress (mental pain) arises from sources like emotional trauma, grief, loss, or underlying mental health conditions can change one's personality, leading to behaviours such as withdrawing from social interactions, heightened irritability, and impatience with others. Realising this link highlights how strongly mental pain can affect how people act and react to the world around them.
Financial problems can cause a lot of stress and anxiety, which can lead to changes in personality. Worrying about bills, providing for family, and keeping a steady lifestyle can make people more irritable, have trouble focusing, and lose self-confidence. These feelings can lead people to withdraw from social activities, as they may feel embarrassed or ashamed of their financial situation.
Losing a job can affect how someone feels and acts. Losing one's daily routine, financial security, and sense of purpose can make one anxious, insecure, and helpless. These negative feelings can show up in different ways, making people easily upset, avoiding social gatherings, and feeling less good about themselves.
Loss of self-confidence can be made worse by factors like concerns about one's body image, including weight, appearance, or other physical attributes. Individuals facing these challenges may harbour negative self-images and doubt their physical attractiveness. On top of that, if someone is constantly criticised, bullied, or made fun of about their body, these bad feelings can get even worse. They may feel like they're not good enough and avoid spending time with others.
Medications can bring about side effects that impact a person's personality and mood. For instance, some antidepressants may lead to feelings of fatigue, weight gain, and a reduced sex drive, making it challenging to maintain their usual activities and social life. Some medicines, such as beta-blockers, antipsychotics, and steroids, can change how some people act or feel. These changes may go as the body gets used to the medicine. However, for some people, these changes may last as long as they are taking the medicine.
A study published in the journal Neuropsychopharmacology found that people who took antidepressants were more likely to experience personality changes such as increased apathy and decreased emotional expression.
Mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety, are biological conditions that can cause significant changes in personality and behaviour. People with mental health problems may experience symptoms such as loss of hope, feeling worthless, tiredness, excessive worrying, being easily annoyed, and trouble concentrating. These symptoms can result in a transformation of one's personality, characterised by social detachment, decreased energy levels, loss of interest in former pastimes, heightened restlessness, avoidance of social interactions, and impaired decision-making skills. Mental health problems can be lifelong conditions that require medical treatment. One in six people will experience depression at some point in their lives, according to the American Psychiatric Association.
Mental health disorders can contribute to a shift in personality, leading some people from a happy-go-lucky, carefree demeanour to experiencing complex emotions and behavioural changes. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterised by intense emotions that swing wildly, making it difficult to have lasting relationships. People with BPD also tend to act impulsively. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) causes people to have an inflated sense of their own importance and a lack of empathy for others. This can lead to arrogance and problems getting along with others. Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) makes people disregard social rules and norms. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) manifests as an intense need for control and perfectionism, resulting in rigid and inflexible behaviour. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) induces flashbacks and emotional numbness, impacting interpersonal relationships. Each presents unique challenges, emphasising the importance of seeking professional help and support for those undergoing such transformations.
Personal growth and development is a lifelong adventure of learning and evolving, leading to unexpected changes in who we are. This journey can unfold gradually or suddenly, shaped by our life experiences, our thoughts and feelings, and the new ideas we encounter.
Physical pain can unleash a torrent of emotions, including frustration, anger, and helplessness, all of which can contribute to personality changes such as increased irritability, social withdrawal, and diminished self-esteem.
Relationship problems can put a strain on a person's emotional well-being and can lead to personality changes. Constant arguments, unresolved issues, and a lack of emotional support within a relationship can make someone more easily annoyed, more sensitive emotionally, and more likely to withdraw from social activities. These changes can lead to a spiral of negativity.
Societal transformations, including cultural shifts and security concerns, can influence individual happiness and personality traits. Cultural clashes and apprehensions about extremism may trigger anxiety and a sense of unease, prompting some individuals to seek more familiar and peaceful environments. These societal changes can shape an individual's perspective and contribute to alterations in their overall happiness and personality.
Substance (illicit drugs) abuse can significantly impact an individual's personality by altering brain function and behaviour. This shift may manifest as increased irritability, impulsive decision-making, and challenges in emotional regulation. Furthermore, substance abuse can contribute to social isolation as individuals prioritise their addictive behaviours over interpersonal connections.
Technology influences how we connect with the world, and while it has benefits, excessive exposure can lead to personality changes, shifting our outlook from positive to negative. A major factor is social media, where constant exposure to carefully curated content can trigger comparisons that result in feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. Additionally, the never-ending flow of information and notifications can cause anxiety, shortened attention spans, and a 'fear of missing out' (FOMO).
A study by Social Psychological and Personality Science reveals that increased social media use correlates with higher rates of depression symptoms. The more time spent on social media, the greater the likelihood of reporting feelings of depression. Those using social media over two hours daily are twice as likely to feel depressed compared to those using it for less than 30 minutes.
The death of a loved one can be a significant life event that can heavily impact a person's personality. The emotional pain of losing someone close can show itself in feelings of sadness, despair, and loneliness, and lead to personality changes, such as becoming more introverted, losing interest in previously enjoyed activities, and dwelling on thoughts of the deceased.
The death of a beloved pet can be a deeply painful experience, comparable to the death of a human loved one. It can leave a lasting void in the heart and disrupt the life of the pet owner. Some people may withdraw from social activities and lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. However, with time and support, most people are able to heal from their grief and reclaim their lives, similar to the loss of a loved-one.
Trauma and abuse can ensnare individuals in a vicious cycle of emotional distress and personality alterations. The emotional scars left by these experiences can unleash a flood of behavioural changes, including crippling anxiety, constant alertness, and flashbacks that come flooding back without warning. These symptoms can make the emotional turmoil even worse, creating a self-feeding cycle that can be hard to escape.
Conclusion
As we navigate life's journey, our personalities naturally evolve, influenced by the diverse experiences we encounter. Just like we encounter challenges or unexpected turns, we also possess the remarkable ability to undergo positive transformations.
Taking an active role in caring for our well-being, learning from life's lessons, and embracing change empowers us to construct a more satisfying and fulfilling life. Changing our lifestyle, friends, and locations can significantly influence our personalities.
Certainly, personal growth is a complex journey, and the route isn't always straightforward. When facing difficulties in your personal growth journey, don't hesitate to seek support from a range of sources, including mental health professionals, life coaches, support groups, friends and family, and self-help resources. Each of these can provide valuable guidance, encouragement, and insights to help you navigate your challenges and rediscover the best version of yourself.
© 2023 Tony Sky
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